The Confessions Of A Not It Girl
by ClassicBeauty23
Summary: Blair Waldorf is your typical teen girl. She has college on the mind, worries about being the outsider, wishes her crush would notice her. She thinks everything is planned, until one night, the last person she expects changes everything she once knew! CB!
1. Chapter 1

The Confessions Of A Not It Girl

Title: The Confessions Of A Not It Girl

Author: Maddie (Classicbeauty23)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or it's characters! Title from the amazing book by Melissa Kantor

Summary: Blair Waldorf is your typical seventeen-year-old girl. She has college fast approaching, her best friend, Serena, is the most known thing in the UES, oh and she can't get her crush, Nathaniel Archibald to even notice her. She thinks everything is already planned for her, a life of studying and being second best to Serena. One night changes her perspective though, when the UES bad boy comes into the picture. Suddenly, Blair's world is turned upside down.

A/N: I know! What are you thinking? I know! But I have a small confession! I have been working on this story for quite sometime. I have a couple chapters already and I LOVE writing this! It's Blair's thoughts, but with added people. So we get in Blair's head, plus others! I think you guys will truly enjoy this, because I feel, there is something about this Blair you will fall in love with! It's AU to the extreme! Blair is insecure and the "nerdy" girl! But someone will change everything for her! I think we know who! I hope you enjoy this! Yes, it is short, but I promise the next chapter is longer! Enjoy and Please Review!

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A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

-Unkwown

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Dear Journal,

Hello, beautiful journal how are you today? Why am I talking to you? Okay, so I know I haven't written in you in…a couple os months (very sorry), but there have been some new developments! Yes, can you believe it, I, Blair Cornelia Waldorf, have news! So the other day I was sitting at the lunch table, yes I still sit in the reject table! Anyways, I am sitting there when all of sudden, I hear my name being called over the announcements, my name bright and loud for the whole school population to hear. You my dearest journal will never believe the news I received. How does this sound? Blair Cornelia Waldorf, Yale Student? Is that catchy or what?

Yes, that is about all that has happened. Serena is still sitting at the "popular" table. That word popular is so seventh grade, I know, but really it is the only word that describes, that table. I sit alone and eat my celery, while I watch all the people who are nothing like me in the world go by. You might see it as sad; I see it as "I like being the bookworm, rather than the Serena's."

The funny thing though journal, is that Serena now has a thing for this guy named Dan Humphrey! Yes, the one that is even worse off than me and lives in Brooklyn! Yes, that one! He is not that attractive either.

How is my mother? Oh you know as well as can be expected, after the whole, "my husband is gay issue." You know when he told be the truth, I thought I would see him differently, but he is still the same to me. To my mom, not in the slightest. All around town is that she wants to hook up with this Cyrus Rose character.

What, else, has it really been this long since I last wrote in you? Noticed how I changed entries to entry one? I thought it was needed.

The main reason I am writing is because a few things have changed. Not the big things, like I stated above, me at the same table, but things that I need to confide in someone with. Yes, I always pick you over Serena.

You know how I have always had that thing for Nathaniel Archibald? The one with blue eyes? Okay, confession that all changed last night! Yes, I am blushing! You want to here the story of how I got dragged off to this party only to meet a guy I never though anyone would EVER want to associate with? Okay here it is...(beware you will be shocked and scold me!) I did something that is well...just read!

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A/N: I know small cliffy! I hope you like this! I have a journal that I write all my thoughts in! Who knows this could even be a true story! Haha!


	2. Chapter 2

The Confessions Of A Not It Girl

A/N: Hey lovely readers! Here is the next part of chapter 1! I probably should of put them together, but a little cliffy never hurt anyone! Um, I am going to have all of my stories updated in the next week! The next week I will be gone so no updating! :(!! I promise to have others updated as quickly as possible! The Gift is almost there...(I am very VERY sad to see that end!!!! I almost cried when I put the last sentence on the page!) Look forward to that! Okay, enough of me! Thanks to everyone that reviewed! Enjoy and Please Review!

Side note: Italics are like the past (kinda) and then the regular is her in her journal! Song dedicated to my friends! We listen to this every Friday while driving! Literally every Friday! OOH Shout out to Card and Curby! GOD I LOVE YOU TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Can't read my,  
Can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(She's got to love nobody)  
Can't read my  
Can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(She's got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(Mum mum mum mah)  
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(Mum mum mum mah)

~*~*~*~

_Blair Waldorf did not do parties. The only reason she was even at this one was because of her best friend, Serena Van Der Woodsen. The so-called "Queen" of the UES just had to attend every party known to man land. This was no exception._

_It was already past midnight and Serena was nowhere to be found. Blair looked up from the couch to see if she was even in eye distant. Nope. Blair came with Serena mainly because since birth they were practically attached to the hip. _

_Their mothers, Eleanor Waldorf and Lily Van Der Woodsen were best friends to begin with. Thus, making their daughters follow in their footsteps, not that Blair minded because in truth, Serena was a very good friend. _

_Lately, Serena had begun crushing on none other than Daniel Humphrey. Blair rolled her eyes just thinking about him. It wasn't so much that he was from Brooklyn (even though that played a small role); it was the fact that he thought everyone judged him. Puh lease._

_If Dan Humphrey really wanted to see someone being judged then he should of come to the Blair Waldorf side of life. _

_From the time she was little she had always had the knack for academics. Nothing, in Blair's opinion was quite like solving a problem. Everyone else, including Serena (sometimes) didn't even get Blair. Everyday, since the fifth grade, the "other" girls had decided to ban Blair from the table, fine with her. _

_So everyday since that time she sat at her own table doing her own thing. Which she actually enjoyed. She would never tell Serena though because Serena thought Blair was lonely, which she really wasn't._

_No, in fact, Blair was far from lonely. _

_In movies there is always that one guy every girl falls in love with from the moment they come on the screen. In the movie (self titled) "Blair's World" Nathanial Archibald played the role of the dashing hero. Yes, she was far from lonely._

_The thing about Nathanial (Nate) was that he was one of the most popular guys in school. He was destined to fall in love with the most popular girl in school, also known as Serena Van Der Woodsen._

_So in Blair's mind, Serena in love with Dan Humphrey somehow was a good thing. _

_Blair looked around the house thinking that in a few months this would all be over. Today, she finally received her acceptance letter to Yale, which she had been working for since the time she could walk. Yes, in a few short months she would be on her way to Connecticut, to hopefully start over. Start over from just being "Brainy Blair."_

"_Anyone sitting here?"_

_Blair looked up. _

"_Um, no." _

_She felt her breath catch in her throat. _

_Chuck Bass filled the occupied seat next to her. _

_Yes, there was a different side to everyone. Serena, the party girl of the Central United States, Nate the pretty boy, and then somewhere in the world there were always the Chuck Bass's of the world. Those kinds somehow didn't come to often._

_Blair didn't know Chuck personally. She'd only heard stories. The stories consisted of sleeping with every girl he could get his hands on and smoking pot on the weekends, yes Chuck was one of those. _

_She had been in the same school as Chuck since the beginning of their high school careers. As of lately, she thought Chuck had dropped out, but now she knew he was probably just skipping school. She looked to the man sitting next her. He reeked of smoke and she could see the newly placed tattoo on his wrist. _

_She turned her eyes back to Nate. From where she was sitting she had the perfect view. His blue eyes and toned body made Blair want to go over there and place a firm kiss on his lips. She for went that plan though, nerves._

_From what Blair knew, Nate and Chuck used to be best friends. They did everything together, or so she remembered. She also remembered Serena telling her that a girl was involved and that's what broke it off. Only if she had been that girl, Nathanial was dreaming over. _

_She could feel Chuck's eyes on hers. There were so many differences between the two; she honestly didn't know how they were friends back then. For starters, while Nate supported the "All American Boy" look, Chuck supported the "I just came back from sleeping with a girl" look. Yes, very different. _

"_What are you staring at?" She prodded. _

_Chuck Bass hated these parties. He only came for one reason and that reason he held in his hand. He needed to get drunk and drunk fast. _

_He had walked into the party hoping to find a good conquest for the night when he laid eyes upon, Blair Waldorf, the girl no one could ever get their hands on._

_He had somewhat known her since the beginning of high school and not once had he seen her do one thing wrong. The one thing she might not of known is that every guy secretly wanted to be with her. Yes, he knew she didn't know any of this. _

"_You come to these parties to have fun?" He asked her._

_She raised her eyebrow. "Excuse me?"_

You see journal I don't do good in guy situations. I mean he just asked the question and I was like 'now hold up.'

So as you can see Chuck Bass, the guy no one can figure out is talking to me! Doesn't he have someone else he can go and talk too! I mean really! Why didn't he go talk to the ex friend (Nate, btw journal did I mention Nate was in a VERY SEXY BLACK SHIRT! Okay, so was Chuck, and I could see his tattoo of initials, that okay might have been somewhat hot, but…) or somewhere else.

I know I am stalling on writing what happened, but really, this is well this is…here is more parts…and yes, I skipped over a few because you know what I have homework to be starting in a few minutes.

After a long conversation with him, the so-called "Bad Boy" of the UES, we might of...

_She felt her back against the wall. His lips were on her neck and she was becoming something he couldn't let go of. _

_She felt his tongue come dangerously close to her mouth once more and she did not hold back. Their tongues intertwined and she felt everything inside her go numb. _

_He took her hands and firmly placed them against the wall. Their hands entangled and tongues coming together as one. _

I only had one drink that he offered me! ONE!

"_Chuck-"_

_He calmed her. He looked into her eyes and she knew what he was asking. _

_She nodded. _

_He looked at her to make sure he saw her motion her head. Blair Waldorf was something that was delicate and not even his ex best friend had even come close to having._

_He lifted her so her legs wrapped around him and he carried them to the bed he saw. He knew this was probably not the way she wanted her first time to go, but he was becoming quickly enhanced with everything Blair. _

_He sat her down and went back to make sure the door was locked. He turned the key and went slowly back to the bed. _

_She watched as he came back to her. She didn't know exactly what she was doing because this wasn't her at all. Just over two hours ago she was seemingly in love with Nate Archibald and now she was about to lose her virginity to Chuck Bass. _

_Her chocolate brown eyes showed doubt and somehow he wanted to take that away, so he went to her and lowered his lips. _

_She felt his body lower and soon she couldn't get away from the lips of Chuck Bass. _

Are you scolding me journal? Yes, I had sex with Chuck Bass last night! Sex aka I am no longer a virgin! Aka Nate cannot take that anymore! Aka I had SEX WITH CHUCK BASS!

I know I deserve a big slap! Yes, I know! And the worst part about it is he wasn't even there when I woke up. He was gone. No note, no anything.

How can something so wrong feel so right?

Yes, I was even sad (just emotional you know after everything) when in the morning I didn't get to see him.

STOP AWEING JOUNRAL! THIS IS SERIOUS!

Okay I will admit, I might have a small crush on someone that no one can get a hold of! YES CHUCK!

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So we have some lingering questions! Why is Chuck the bad boy? Whose initials? Why are Chuck and Nate no loner friends? And why did Chuck keeping thinking the one girl Nate never got was Blair? Answers to come! Hope you enjoyed!


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